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At times, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually coming after a “crash”, a period when he feels sensitive and self-conscious about his conduct, leaving him highly sensitive to criticism from those around him. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms online – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he questions he would have accepted the diagnosis unless he had independently formed that conclusion on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – particularly if they experience feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And that world is like, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

While people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, the meaning can be ambiguous what people refer to as the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a clinical identification, he notes many people hide it, because of so much stigma linked to the condition. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to enhance their social status through behaviors including pursuing power,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

Although three-quarters of people diagnosed with the condition are men, findings suggests this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the covert form, which is under-identified. “Men’s narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” notes an individual who posts about her dual diagnosis on social media. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

“I really struggle with dealing with feedback and not being accepted,” she explains, “because if I hear that the problem is me, I either go into a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Despite having this reaction – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. I used to be manipulative to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘If I say something messed up, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models during development. I’ve had to teach myself all this time what is suitable or harmful to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance growing up,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my household were criticizing me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. “There is a genetic component,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting particular demands. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve good grades and career success, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, similar to his experience, finds it hard to manage mood stability. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for talking therapy via government-funded care (extended treatment is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for a year and a half: “They said it is probably going to be maybe February or March next year.”

John has only told a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has embraced the diagnosis. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is beneficial,” he comments. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the presence of online advocates and the rise of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number